life is like a plate of tofu!

so i've committed to a 'vegan' lifestyle...i really don't want to adopt the title:'vegan', because, i have not decided whether or not i will eat seafood on occasions (but is seafood considered meat, hmmmmm?). i do commit to no meat and dairy though.
here's a definition from one of my fav websites, http://www.dictionary.com/:

Main Entry: veg·an
Pronunciation: 'vE-g&n; 'vej-&n, -"an Function: noun: a strict vegetarian : one that consumes no animal food or dairy products —veg·an·ism /'vE-g&-"niz-&m, 'vej-&-/ noun

i digress.
back to the point of this post. as i commit to this no meat, no dairy lifestyle, i have acquired a fond taste for tofu. tofu is made of soybeans. the soybean is so diverse, it can be made into a variety of things. namely, tofu.
unprepared, tofu is tasteless and has different textures.
tofu tastes like whatever you season it with and however it is prepared....firm, soft, cheesy, soupy.your choice.
one weekend, i had several tofu dishes: mongolian tofu, fried tofu and even a cupcake which had tofu as an ingredient!
at the close of the weekend, i got into one of my 'musing' states. as i began to muse, my new natural lifestyle was my focal point. i thought about all the delectable tofu foods i consumed over the weekend.

Ah Ha! "Life is like tofu",i exclaimed!
tofu tastes like what ever you chose to marinate or season it with, and i can apply the same concept to life!
our lives virtually become whatever we want! if we season our lives with positivity and hope, we get abundance, peace and blessings. if we use marinades of negativity and doubt, we get defeat,complacency and lack. this concept is reality!

just today, my mind began to wander.
i was overwhelmed with some not so tasty thoughts. this became bothersome to me. so i had to stop and refocus. i took a small sticky pad and began to jot down the flavors that i wanted in my life at that moment. after scribbling my desired recipe, i meditated over the list for a few minutes. as i transitioned from my meditative state, my spirit was wonderfully seasoned with peace.
instantaneously, GOD gave me the peace and positivity that i was seeking! it remained with me the entire day!

GOD is so awesome!

life is a divinely delicious dish, if you chose to season it that way!

as i continue...

as i continue to live, i continue to experience, i continue to learn and i hope i'm growing and gaining wisdom....well, i know i'm growing. and as i grow, i remain in awe of the OMNIPOTENT ONE! i ask the DIVINE Creator to be the bride of my tongue, that my words may edify, i ask that i may follow the righteous path, i ask to gain and utilize divine discernment in all things, i ask for peace which surpasses all understanding.
as i actively seek peace, faith and divine guidance...i acquire tremendous amounts of insight.
as i continue to be a being of the human species, i sometimes allow my mind to drift..out of the spiritual realm of the universe to the fleshly realm...and in those moments, my mind slips me...
when it doesn't happen in my time, i begin to sway, i begin to experience temporary amnesia...
forgetting that GOD always provides! no matter, how minuscule or how humongous...as i continue to just...be...and...live...i have to continually remind myself...in divine time, not mine.
as i continue to take personal internal inventory, i develop more insight into my spiritual, emotional, mental and physical self...i allow myself to make mistakes, i forgive myself and i keep on living, experiencing and loving! and in all of this, i give all the glory, honor and praise, where it is due...The ALMIGHTY!
as i continue, i will continue

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*maintain positive expectations&thoughts
*speak what i seek
*dream big
*love myself & others
*give
*improve
*muse
*pray
*trust
**as i continue, i will continue!

"speak what you seek"

i have traveled to a few places, some tropical, some metropolitan... there are a few places i plan to visit within my lifetime...
i chose some of these places based on their aesthetics and some based on their health care ethics & policies (weird reason, i know, however, if you see the movie sick-o, you will understand where i'm coming from)

Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

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Hawaii

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France

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Canada

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Cuba

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Morocco, Africa

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Great Britain
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St. Trope~South of France
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thoughts

"thoughts become things"
"speak what you seek", not only should you speak what you seek, you should also "feel" what you seek.
in simpler terms, learn to control your emotions, don't let your emotions control you.
we are constantly thinking, we are constantly feelings. in order to live the abundant lives that GOD has in store for us, we have to do some internal/mental work. we have to learn to think and feel positively.
there is a theory, known as The Self Fulfilling Prophecy. Basically, it states that, whatever we think, we bring into existence in our lives. Also, The Law of Attraction states the same thing, we are constantly emitting frequencies into the Universe. And what we hope for, what we think about and how we feel,manifests itself into our lives. Therefore, we have been called to make a change for the better in what we consciously, subconsciously and unconsciously hope for. We have to take a better stance and approach at how we view our lives.
we are like magnets...what we want we attract...we have to be able to feel, think and believe that we can have the desires of our hearts and minds. we must stop saying what we don't want to happen or what we don't want in our lives, because we are actually attracting those things to increase. we must say and think about what we DO want..it all starts with feelings. sure sometimes things happen which may cause us to feel sad or negatively, however, we have a power, a power to retrain and change our own emotions. GOD is awesome, he gave us the ability to control our thoughts/feelings/desires. so why not make good use of that freedom and power? why not be in control of our perception and desires for our lives?
i know i want to live in peace, love, happiness and abundance. i know i want to accomplish all of the dreams and goals that lie within my spirit and soul. therefore, i will continue to take an active stance on how i feel and how i view the path of my life!
shape your life into what you want it to be! it starts with me!

check this site out in your spare time: www.thesecret.tv

**p.s... this is not the post that i was saying that i was working on (in my last post)..but i felt like i needed to share this,the other one is still coming**

no title

uh oh...
i've been neglecting my blogspot! :o(
i have had a few inspirational thoughts, just haven't taken the time out to express them through this blog.
don't fret! i'm working on a pretty good, thought-provoking and intriguing post!
****************
patience is a virtue!
dream big
think positive...ALWAYS!

my pastor says..."If GOD gave you the vision, GOD will give you the PRO-vision"!!!
I believe it!

and then came..muse-ick

just when i was getting disappointed in the music industry...
just when i was about to write-off soul music,r&b,hip-hop and rap (yes there is a difference between rap & hip-hop, but that is another blog for another day)...
just when i was wanting to listen to some NEW soul stirring, inspiring music with some depth to it...
then came...

jilly from philly came with it!!! my goodness, this woman's lyrics and voice can touch you from way deep within the crevices of your inner being...she will make you emote emotions that you were so desperately needing to get out...she can cause you to shout "sang it jill!"...
whether you are in love, falling out of love, crushing on someone, desiring to be coddled, searching for love, hoping for inner or world peace or wanting any of the above;you will surely identify with the words and sounds of this cd!

i must admit, i need to listen to it again to fully comprehend some of the innuendos that she uses...but hands down, it is definitely a banger for me!!! i am truly a jill scott fan, therefore, i cannot say that it is better or worse than her other works, they are all great individual pieces..but what i can say that this cd is a superb addition to the trilogy!

The Real Thing appears to be some much needed therapy for her and me!!
thank GOD and thank jilly!

modern day

i was listening to the radio as i traveled to work today..callers were voicing their opinions and concerns about the recent rally in Jena, Louisiana. one of the on-air guests expressed his emotions about the entire situation in spoken word form...in his poem, he used the term "platinum chains of social slavery" to describe the current state of the 'african-american community'....
DANG! has it really gotten back to that, or has it even ever really stopped? have we been enslaved since those hellish days back in the 16-1800s?
the recent influx of media portrayal (the state of hip-hop,dog-fighting,torture by racists,'nappy headed hoe' comments,etc.) of us Africans residing in america has caused an outcry and an uproar.. i believe that we as a people are finally getting fed-up... again! i guess we had gotten kind of complacent with our place in society...but with the "free the jena 6" rally and all of the panel discussions about our portrayal in the media and treatment in society at large, i feel like this may be the beginnings of a revolution, a new civil rights era, perhaps!

i have such strong emotions about each incident that we as people continue to face in 2007. i feel angry and sad and hopeful and curious and ((sigh)) sooo many things, i cannot identify all of the feelings that i am harbouring.

i just hope that henceforth, we will continue to stand up, unite and strive for what's right!
i promise to do my part to join the forces in striving for peace, power and justice....
i will start from somewhere!

b.day!

i dont mind being 29, it is simply divine!

i am elated that i was so graciously and wonderfully blessed to celebrate another year, day, hour, minute on this earth! {09.08 was my b.day}
as i look back over the past 28 years of my life, i must say that i am well pleased!
sure, there are some things that i would have done differently, but overall, i think that i have done pretty ok with myself...
i'm not looking at aging as getting older, but as getting wiser and hopefully--better!
there is much more that i must learn and experience, and i welcome all of the good things that life has to offer to me!
also, i am sure that there are a few more mistakes that i will make, however, i will look towards those things as growth mechanisms...

for the upcoming days of my life, i plan to "speak what i seek"...the tongue and mind are powerful tools..i hope to use them they way that GOD and the universe would like for me to use them...... for positivity and hope!

I'm in LOVE...

...That's right, I'm in LOVE.....with bLaCk PeOpLe!!!

"These kids are gettin' worse", sighed a dear friend of mine, as a school bus filled with 'urban' youth yelled obscenities, such as "f%& you nigger (not niggah)!", while throwing pens and paper into his car. My friend said that the way that the word was shouted to him,with a deep,red-neckish,South Georgia twang, by young people of his,our, own ethnicity cut deep and hurt.
Not that I am proud of this, but I often times use the 'n' word in jest when conversing with friends and family. But after hearing and feeling my friends disgust, I started to reconsider my incessant use of the dreaded word. I am starting to connect with the onset of the attempts to abolish the deragotory word.
Speaking of the abolishment of the 'n' word leads to the intended purpose of this post. Rapper David Banner has taken some less than friendly stabs at Black leaders, namely, Oprah, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. He [Banner] is angry at the fact that these key figures in African American culture are speaking out against the verbiage that some hip-hop artists tend to use in thier lyrics. They [Oprah, Jesse and Al] are disgusted with the way that some of the artists are expressing themselves. My friend was frustrated with the 'urban' youth that were taunting him, the urban youth were teasing him for whatever reason. I am upset with the darker skinned woman for being mad at me because the hue of my skin is lighter than hers. I am also annoyed with my 24-year-old, African American co-worker who does not think twice about using the 'n' word in the presence of 'mixed' company...and the list goes on and on.....sound familiar? It does to me...
I credit it all to this one man....Willie Lynch! Lynch's savvy ploy to keep us mentally enslaved worked! We continue to work against each other instead of working together, we continue to internally hate one another because one's skin tone is darker or lighter, because one is older or younger, because one is educated and the other lacks a GED or a Bachelor's degree.
Ok, so I've identified the problem, we all know the problem...Let us work on a solution! Oh Lawd! A solution??? A solution!!! I'm a solution oriented person, but sometimes just the thought of trying to come up with a solution for the state of my people, just gets down right overwhelming. I get angry and hopeless...but I want so much more for us!! However, if we want to improve and have an overall sense of camaraderie, we have to be solution focused.
What can I do?? I can first and foremost identify the true feelings that I harbor within the crevices of my soul about my people. I can take time out to educate a misguided or misinformed soul. I can speak up and speak out about what I would like to see happen and take a proactive stance and DO something. I can offer a word of encouragement and empowerment to my brother or sister when I see them struggling. I can tell that little black girl that she is absolutely gourgeous. I can write a blog, leave a comment or even sing a song!I can do something! But it starts with me!

FIGHT THE POWER! Share the Knowledge! Stop the Cycle!

"I thought this was the most appropriate time for ALL OF US to re-read, remember and NEVER FORGET, the speech given by Willie Lynch a slave owner who over 300 years ago devised a plan to help keep Black people divided..."

GENTLEMAN:
I greet you here on the bank of the James River in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and twelve. First I shall thank you, the Gentlemen of the Colony of Virginia, for bringing me here. I am here to help you solve some of your problems with slaves. Your invitation reached me on my modest plantation in the West Indies where I have experimented with some of the newest and still the oldest methods for control of slaves. Ancient Rome would envy us if my program is implemented. As our boat sailed south on the James River, named for our illustrious King James, whose bible we cherish, I saw enough to know that your program is not unique. While Rome used cords of wood as crosses for standing human bodies along the old highways in great numbers, you are here using the tree and the rope on occasion.
I caught the whiff of a dead slave hanging from a tree a couple of miles back. You are not only losing valuable stock by hangings, you are having uprisings, slaves are running away, your crops are sometimes left in the fields too long for maximum profit, you suffer occasional fires, your animals are killed, gentlemen...you know what your problems are; I do not need to elaborate. I am not here to enumerate your problems, I am here to introduce you to a method of solving them.
In my bag here, I have a fool-proof method for controlling your black slaves. I guarantee everyone of you that if installed correctly it will control the slaves for at least 300 years. My method is simple, any member of your family or any overseer can use it.
I have outlined a number of differences among the slaves, and I take these differences and make them bigger. I use fear, distrust, and envy for control purposes. These methods have worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies, and it will work throughout the South. Take this simple little test of differences and think about them. On the top of my list is "Age", but it is there because it only starts with an "A"; the second is "Color" or shade; there is intelligence, size, sex, size of plantations, attitude of owners, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, East, West, North, South, have fine or coarse hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you an outline of action--but before that, I shall assure you that distrust is stronger than trust, and envy is stronger than adulation, respect, or admiration.
The Black Slave, after receiving this indoctrination, shall carry on and will become self refueling and self generating for hundreds of years, maybe thousands.
Don't forget, you must pitch the old Black vs. the young Black male, and the young Black male against the old Black male. You must use the dark skinned slaves vs the light skinned slaves, and the light skinned slaves vs. the dark skinned slaves. You must use the female vs. the male, and the male vs. the female. You must also have your servants and overseers distrust all Blacks, but it is necessary that your slaves trust and depend on us. They must love, respect, and trust only us.
Gentlemen, these kits are your keys to control, use them. Have your wives and children use them. Never miss opportunity. My plan is guaranteed, and the good thing about this plan is that if used intensely for one year, the slaves themselves will remain perpetually distrustful.

"The letter above is one of the major problems of the African-American race today. And with this knowledge we as a race can and will over come. So with this letter still in your mind I ask that you enlighten someone else and send this letter to as many brothers and sisters. We as a race must start somewhere in learning our problems what better place than the document that started the destruction of our MOST POWERFUL RACE!!! "
Power, Peace & Blessings!

seeking

let go
let GOD
don't obsess and don't stress
don't lose sight of GOD and his will, way and purpose for your life
stay focused and motivated
pray and trust
trust and pray
execute faith and hope
pray and trust
let go &let GOD

no time for doubts and fears and insecurities
these things do nothing more than take up time and energy
energy that can be used for something fruitful
seek peace and acceptance and find it...for if you seek you will find!
keep seeking and asking, it will surely come
persistence with prayer, faith and hope are imperative....no matter what the situation is.
even if it appears impossible. nothing is impossible when you seek Divine guidance!

Its so pointless to let the temporary stressors of this world bog us down, especially if there is nothing we can do about it!

Dear GOD,
Please grant me the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change
the courage to change the things
I can
and
the wisdom
to know
the difference
~Amen
~serenity prayer

who?

allow me to re-introduce myself...

i am an enthusiast if you will, a lover of many things!
i happen to be a pseudo fashionista and a former socialite ( in my mind)
i am a selfish and selfless
I am a perfectionist, but I am not perfect.
i have wisdom, but i am not wise
i have discernment, but i am not all knowing
i love GOD, but i am a sinner
i am a daughter
i am a granddaughter
i am a sister
i am a cousin
i am a niece
i am a godmother
i am a friend
i am a 'lady friend'
i am an employee
i am a counselor
i am a thinker
i am a prayer
i am a meditator
i am an innovator
i am a creator
i am a motivator
i am a writer
i am a dreamer
i am an optimist with pessimistic tendencies
i am a crybaby
i am a cook
i am clean
i am a hopeful health nut
i am frugal
i am high maintenance
i am aware
i am conscious
i am submissve, with bossy ways
i am simple complexity
i am sleepy...
maybe i'll add to this another day! (sorry..there is much more to me, beyond this)

just thinking

"Real eyes realize real lies" ~unknown...(to me)

For some reason that quote has been in my head ALL day today, and I cannot figure out who said it! Hence, my desire to write about it. I wish I knew the author of the quote and his/her thoughts and/or feelings when they said it.
My interpretation of it is: If I make good use of my third eye, Incorporated with some divine discernment, then apply the insight that I was so blessed to acquire, I will then be able to undoubtedly, instantaneously recognize false pretenses, untruths and maleficence in the world around me and abroad.

As I further contemplate on the origin and meaning of the quote, I begin to think...was this someone's savvy ploy in attempts to sound cool or be "different" ? Or, was this person really feeling misrepresented, betrayed or experiencing a new level of awareness? Perhaps he or she had been wronged so much that they decided : Enough is Enough! On the other hand, they could have been manipulating and misusing someone so much, that they thought :Man, aren't you tired of me doing you this way? Suppose they were just deep in thought or in some type of meditative state that this lil quote came to the forefront of their mind....

Anyhoo, I'm just rambling off some possibilities of its intended meaning;hoping to gain some new knowledge to spread and use as a source inspiration or help to someone in need...perhaps me, you, anyone in need....

well, MY real eyes realized real lies years ago! Thank GOD for wisdom and experience..keep living, learning and applying!

small boxes & BIG FIELDS

oh how great life would be if we lived using our maximum potential;divinely guided and never one dimensional...
often times i hope and pray to be all that GOD has destined for me to be, never settling for complacency.
i am thankful for the way my life has progressed thus far, however i know that i am capable of much more.

do we simply exist or do we ever truly live?
what does it mean to truly live and go beyond merely existing?
does it mean we always play it safe and never take risks?
does it mean we step completely outside of the "box" and live life differently than what "tradition" states?
does it mean that we consider other people's ideals of what is right and necessary for our lives?
or, do we seek divine wisdom and guidance, align our will with the Creator's will and follow that?

guided imagery...
take a deep breath and center yourself...
breath in....
breath out....
close your eyes...
center yourself...
again, another deep breath...
another exhale...
focus on the spirit within...
relax all the muscles...
relax your shoulders...
imagine a huge open field of green, freshly cut grass
then picture yourself inside a small glass box in the middle of the field, with your eyes closed
your eyes open, you look up at the spacious blue sky and then out at the enormous
grassy green field.
with open eyes, you want to get outside of that small box and venture out onto the big green field...but you are trapped...
stuck in the small glass box, looking out at the field and up at the sky
and wondering what else is there, outside of the glass box....
inhale.....exhale...
think of all your cares and hopes and aspirations...
continue to focus on the things that worry you ...
think of the things that you want in place of the worries...
speak to the divine spirit, confess the worries and cares and hopes and aspirations...
ask the divine spirit to take them,do away with the negative, increase the positive and align them with GOD's will and allow them to be done
in divine time and not mine...
ask for acceptance and peace and the ability to truly trust and have and maintain the faith...
ask for the courage, ability, strength and endurance to do all that you are capable of doing
another deeeeeep breath in....
exhaaaaaaale....
breath in....breath out...

Now, progress with your day, pray and repeat whenever needed!
~peace, luv & hugz~mimi

thin line...ramblings..

**i was blogging on myspace yesterday and this is what i produced, just thought i'd share it here...

t.i said, "it's a fine line between brilliance and insanity."
somebody else said, "it's a thin line between love and hate."
i say, "it's a thin line between fear and courage."

isn't it amazing that entities such as love and brilliance, things that can make you feel awesomely ecstatic,can also make you feel like you're dressed in honey dipped undergarments running around in a field invaded with a swarm of bees?
sometimes you can feel like you're on top of the world and at other times, you can feel like you're at the bottom of the barrel. at the blink of an eye or the flutter of a butterflies wings, life can drastically change. therefore, it's imperative to value every moment, every person and every situation to the fullest.
over analyzing can be necessary and helpful, it can also be negative and useless. the pursuit and use of discernment is often times the best tool when uncertainties arise. i am guilty of being overly analytical at times, which can sometimes cause confusion and discontentment. there is a very thin line between faith and the lack thereof, between optimism and pessimism....
is the saying true that you never know what you have 'til it's gone? possibly! hence, the importance of making the best out of every given situation, take the lemons and make lemonade.

it's a fine line between making a good point and rambling!

oh! i almost forgot!

[[blah]]
my exact feeling this morning when i arose from my slumber.
even though i am on a much needed vacation...i felt [[blah]]this morning.
i laid in bed, trying to shake the discontenting feeling. thinking of things that i need to do, as opposed to doing things that i want to do, so i stayed in bed a little while longer.

when i realized that i couldn't release the feeling on my own...i did one thing that i am good at doing...praying!
after the imperative conversation with the AWESOME ONE, i got up and began to approach the first day of my mini-vacate with pleasure and gratitude!
it started off a tad bit slow,but then i read some inspirational stuff and instantly became motivated and ready!

as i proceeded with my self assigned tasks for the day...my mind began to wonder....

"is a certain amount of chaos in life necessary and beneficial?, how is it that we are privy and exposed to so much knowledge and inspiration and encouragement and empowerment, but quickly forget to apply it in the midst of tumultuous or even minute life challenges and stressors?"

i think i came up with an answer....
because we are human... 'beautifully human!' "we are fearfully and wonderfully made!"

i do believe that a smidgen of chaos from time to time is ok. Hey, it's the reality of the matter, so we may as well accept it. figure out how to handle it and move on.

chaotic events will occur.
disappointments will happen.
sadness will come.

so if we know this.....why do we often times get bent out of shape?
i understand that emotions are so powerful, they can take control of the strongest, most emotionally healthy and intelligent person ever....so why cant we always remember to control our emotions and not allow our emotions to control us?

oh...i almost forgot.....
we are human, beautifully human at that!

i'm not using the whole "i'm human" thing as a cop out, i do know that can be used by some in efforts to excuse purposely unacceptable behavior, which is not a good look. i do believe in taking responsibility and owning up to personal wrongdoings and mistakes...but i'm saying, we have to remember to not take ourselves too seriously all the time and accept our humanness.

accept the fact that we will not be able to please every single person in which we interact and have a relationship with.
accept that we will make mistakes.
accept that we will fail at something.
accept that we will get angry about something.

in order to live a relatively serene and sane life...
we must have acceptance and the ability to allow ourselves to a few mishaps.
we have to remember that our feelings are valid.
be alright with being you...if that is hard to do, figure out a way to identify the source of your discontentment and begin to work on it....
(if you havent notcied by now, i love internal work, as difficult as it tends to be..it's one of my passions)
aaaanyhoo... back to the topic

there is only one you. one me. embrace that person...accepting all the flaws and imperfections and greatness and uniqueness and roll with it!

and if they/he/she/it don't like it....straighten your back, raise those shoulders, stand up straight, smile and confidently say "humph! i'm me. i'm fearfully and wonderfully made. oh, and i almost forgot...
i'm beautifully human"!

**disclaimer**in certain situations, do all the body gestures and just say the other stuff in your head...we still wanna appear to be sane here!
{{smooches, hugz & luv}}

Eureka! Ah-Ha moments! or maybe just random ramblings of a ranting chiq--en?...

I can be a funny character!
Sometimes I just sit back and laugh at myself!

Periodically, I begin to feel stagnant, like I'm not doing enough with my spare time. Like I should be doing much more. I always feel so accomplished while I'm in school, sooooo, I've been thinking about going back to get my doctoral degree. For what? Who knows, perhaps so that everyone can call me "Dr.mimi"? So I can feel like I'm accomplishing something, but then, I graduate, and I feel content, for a while, then uh oh..here comes mr. stagnation knocking at my door.... can I just go to school forever?
A few years back, when I was doing some life assessing, I had the epiphany that one of my life long goals will be to acquire as much knowledge as possible. I know, I know,I don't have to go to school to do that. But it is something about that formal education that I just crave. Maybe because my sunnie t. and daddie enrolled me in kindergarten at the age of 4 (love them for it too)! anyhoo, just wanted to put that school notion out there...

Now, back to this stagnation stuff... lately I've been feeling like I need to incorporate more hobbies into my daily routine. Ok, so, I get up, go to work every morning, go home, then go to the fitness center, and back home it is. I read and write and cook and yap while I'm at home, so it's not like I'm just watching t.v. (which i barely do anymore). I just don't have a "thing"..oh, other than shopping & the movies, but that is reserved for the weekends only.
So, as I get on the internet, searching for a hobby, my first google search is for...guess what?? A class! hahaha..career student! But not another psychology class, a Spanish class, a cooking class, a creative writing class..but a class none the less. which is fine with me, I'm alright with loving to learn.
Learning is a constant. We are learning on a daily basis anyway... right?

So, with all my spare time, surfing the net and searching for meaningful things to occupy my spare time, I discover that I want to learn to ride horses! And after more searching and listening to the radio at work. I learn of this website http://www.soulvegwellness.com/. NOW, I MUST WARN YOU! If you are not ready to hear some shocking news about all the dairy and meat that we choose to consume, DO NOT GO TO THAT WEBSITE!
But I, in all my bravery, went to the website, and I have not felt the same about eating chicken and dairy since. Reading was the same thing that led me to not eating beef and pork... sooo.... I may be well on my way to giving up dairy and chicken. Notice, I didn't say a thing about a turkey, because I ab-so-lut-ley loooove turkey burgers..... I haven't given up chicken and dairy...yet. But I can see that I'm well, sorta, on my way.

I baked some chicken wings for dinner the other night and something came over me as I tore into the flesh of some innocent little chicken. I got grossed out! and I couldn't believe it! I love chicken, I don't normally eat chicken with bones, so maybe that had something to do with it. And as far as dairy goes..I love cheese and milk and sour cream and ice cream. So that may be a challenge for me to give up, but I said the same thing about beef, and it has been approximately5 years since I sank my teeth into some leather!

I did buy some soy milk instead of cow's milk. My daddie said "cow's milk is for baby cow's", a spoken word artist back in about 2001 said; "cow milk will kill your babiiiiieees",others have told me that it causes skin issues. So we'll see.

And then, it was time for me to get my hair relaxed, so another ah ha moment, epiphany or notion came to mind. Go natural! Leave the chemicals alone! Now, I tried that before, but after six months, I got weak and fell back into the perm trap. So we'll just have to see about that one too.

Oh yeah, I even bought some natural toothpaste, it has fluoride in it, but not all of those artificial flavorings, like saccharin and other unnatural stuff. it has some orange and mango extracts.

See! You see why I need a new hobby, I have too much time to read and think. But that isn't bad... is it?

__________________________________________________________

just rambling and ranting
full of gratitude
in a peaceful mood
ranting and raving
about the craving
to do right
in GOD's sight
want to eat right
change things
in my life
but not to cause any plight
just to further beautify
the life that i have
so i can fly, soar
and accomplish much more

________________________________________________________________________________________________

K.I.S.S....A.S.A.P.!

As I sit here, trying to think of something so deep and profound to blog about...it hits me! K.I.S.S.! I've felt the urge to blog, but I've ruminated and pondered and mused about my next blog topic, for 2 days! I think to myself, "what's the point?,K.I.S.S.!"
Keep
It
Super
Simple, just K.I.S.S. mimi! Gosh!

Making mountains out of valley's or mole hills or tiny rocks or however the little saying goes. Whatever it is, that is how we mere mortal human beings do often times. Just as I did over this simple blog entry!

Sometimes incomplex things can be turned into complex things in our minds. I say, take life as it comes, contemplate, but not too much where it turns into mental and internal chaos, just enough to make the best decision for the given situation. The mind is a powerful tool!

I often times have to tell myself to K.I.S.S...A.S.A.P.! Over simple stuff, it's helpful though!
Always
Say
A
Prayer!

Yes! It is as simple as that! K.I.S.S...A.S.A.P.!
But when saying a prayer, we can't just say it to say it, we have to center ourselves, find our places of peace and mean those meditations! Then, just trust and let go! Easier said than done?
Not if it becomes a daily part of life. I'm not saying that these principles are instantaneous, however, they are realistic and attainable.

So, apply K.I.S.S...A.S.A.P. in all necessary situations on a daily basis...be it, dealing with a co-worker, traffic, self-improvement/reflection, school, friends, family or just maintaining in this thing called life!

"A-SAP, A-SAP, try to play me, Im'a blow 'em off the map [by] ASAP "(always saying a prayer) ~T.I.
(he didn't quite mean it the way i'm saying it, but let's just improvise here...hahahaha!)

free!

Ahhhhh ((sigh of relief))......

the desire to let go and pursue your hearts' desire can provoke some anxiety, but is a wonderful and dreamy type of anxiety(some, well, most times)!
the ability to trust and have the faith to actually do it is relieving & AWESOME!

there is this lady that i have been knowing twenty-something years....
she has endured and overcome many hardships and trials and tribulations.
keywords--ENDURED & OVERCOME!
she was always encouraging and diligent, despite the struggle..
a soilder, if you will!
this woman always had a weight on her shoulder and a feeling in the pit of her heart to let go, step out and be totally free!
she just never had the gumption to do so....until now!

this lady has always been a source of inspiration to me...
she is now free...
and goes by the name of sunnie t!

i admire her and i love her and i wish her much success on her journey to total happiness and freedom!

sunnie t is free...free from the ship!

~unfinished...~

thinking frequently
listening to certain types of songs differently
feelings of insecurity...unh uh, no longer with me
comfortable & thankful to be miME
ahhhhh.....
peace & gratitude
my attitude, which guides my mood
continuous growing, yearning, learning...
throughout eternity......

~fin...

this journey

* bal·ance: [bal-uhns] noun, verb, -anced, -anc·ing.
3. mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.
7.the power or ability to decide an outcome by throwing one's strength, influence, support, or the like, to one side or the other.

* bound·a·ry: [boun-duh-ree, -dree] –noun, plural -ries.
1. something that indicates bounds or limits; a limiting or bounding line.
2. The border or limit so indicated.

* peace: [pees] noun, interjection, verb, peaced, peac·ing. –noun
3. a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, esp. in personal relations
6.freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquillity; serenity

Balance, boundaries and peace are three of the things that I strive for on a daily basis. Today is one of those days when I have to execute my pursuit of those to the utmost! It is so important to me to maintain the three, however, it is not always the easiest of my daily chores. Yes! I used the word chore, because on some days it is a chore indeed! Some days it comes easier and feels more natural. I think what works best for me is when I feel like my emotional equilibrium is off, I make every effort to attend to it promptly.

A quote that I attempt to apply daily is: "Control your emotions, don't allow your emotions to control you". That is an awesome affirmation! Emotions, feelings, thoughts, perceptions and affect are very powerful things and can take total dominion over all senses of life, if only for a few minutes. Assessing my character and being self aware is so incessant for me. I know that I can allow emotions to take the steering wheel and zoom off! Therefore, I try to continuously attain and implement healthy and positive coping mechanisms. On those "emotional chore days" I surely don't feel like applying my healthy & positive coping skills, but I do find that when I suck it up and just do the best thing, I end up feeling relieved and satisfied...for the most part.

So much of my life, both professional & personal, is dedicated to making sure that other people are emotionally okay and their needs are met that mine can get lost in the midst,which is overwhelming at times. ...another reason for me to maintain boundaries, balance and peace. If I don't take care of myself spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically, no one will! I am content with this...most of the time, because I am cognizant of the fact that it comes with the territory. Also,I wholeheartedly pray and ask GOD to make me the person that THE DIVINE CREATOR has destined for me to be. Which in turn, makes me confident & hopeful that I am traveling through this journey of life the way that I am supposed to be. I do know that there are some things that I need to improve on, hence my continuous pursuit of peace, boundaries and balance!

"If you allow yourself to be depleted to the point where your emotional and spiritual tank is empty and you are running on fumes of habit, everybody loses, especially you."~Oprah

Yet another of my favorite declarations!

*definitions provided by www.dictionary.com

flaw-less, special presentation?!?!

~~yaaawwwn~~

as i arose this morning from a peaceful slumber, i lay in the bed,nestled under my comfy, colorful, coordinated comforter and gathered my thoughts....i began to reminisce. and recant. the dream that i had prior to waking up...can't say the dream happened last night, because i didn't go to sleep until 2 a.m..

so this is how the dream went....

me,yohance ( my beau), my older brother (yanyan), my best friend(yonnie), her husband (tre), murrie (other b.f) and my pastor(o'jimi) were on the stage at church... o'jimi announced "it's now time for a special presentation", yohance proceeds to get up and take the microphone. he faced me and began to ..not quite recite poetry, not quite freestyle in the rapping form...but rather he began to flow in his own yohance way..... though he was not rapping or singing, his words were melodic and musical to my ears as he professed his feelings for me in front of all these people! after his verbal expressions...he placed a BIG SOLITAIRE DIAMOND RING on my finger. i was tearful and ecstatic! yanyan took the mic and began to give his blessings to yohance and mi....as he was speaking, i took my seat and began to show my BIG DIAMOND RING to my friends. tre was sitting next to me , i showed my BIG DIAMOND RING to him first, not paying attention to the expression of "what the h.." on his face. he then passed the ring to yonnie, and she and murrie carefully observed my BIG DIAMOND RING.....yonnie, gave me the RING back saying "ooh, yeah, that's nice gyrrrl" in her own yonnie way! i was pleased with my beau, my BIG DIAMOND RING and the way of the proposal. the special presentation ended...yohance and i went home. we began to watch the video of the special presentation..as we watched, unknowingly to yonnie and murrie, they were being taped...they were pointing and laughing at my BIG DIAMOND RING....they weren't just snickering, they were doing these big exaggerated, pointing laughs! whaaaaat?!?! not my b.f.'s...hatin'? unh uh, couldn't be possible, not yonnie and murrie.....

i was sad.

so i went to inform sunnie t. (my mommie) of the wonderful news! {not sure why she wasn't at the special presentation, she goes to that church}..anyway, she was more excited than me... so she said "show me the ring mimi"....i proudly showed her my BIG DIAMOND RING....she exclaimed,"that is so po', that ring is so wack, you need to tell him to take that back and get you something else!" i was shocked! not my sunnie t. she is my biggest supporter, if no one else is rooting for me and in my corner, sunnie t. is.

i was sad and confused.

"what? what is wrong with it sunnie? it is a BIG DIAMOND RING!" she said "have you looked at it?" "uhh, yeah!" i had glanced at it, didn't bother to carefully observe it.

my internal feelings of joy,appreciation and love distracted me from inspecting my beau's material expression of his feelings.

after i put my feelings to the side, and began to analyze my memories of tre's facial expression, yonnie & murrie's amusement, and sunnie t.'s direct disgust with the RING...i took a careful look at my BIG DIAMOND RING.

let me describe what i saw:

a white..no, not white gold, but a plastic white band, with a BIG SOLITAIRE DIAMOND rhinestone... end of dream







when i woke up, i smiled!

my internal feelings of joy,appreciation & love did not change. i called yonnie, sunnie t. and yohance and rehashed the content of the dream to them.

i laughed.
and
laughed
and laughed.
it was funnie...
i like the feeling that the dream produced.

The Weekend

the movies are a nice escape from reality, for 2 and a half hours, one can get inside the mind of a killer, a thief, a poet, a hopeless romantic, a lost soul, or whatever roles the characters may play. "the world is a stage and everybody got to play their part"-Andre 3000. this is true, however, when it is on the big screen and it has nothing to do with your daily tasks/issues/events, its such a relief and deviation from the norm. i love going to the movies, i especially love going to live plays, but since i don't have much access to the types of plays i like to see, the movies pacify me. today i was able to go see a very suspenseful movie...and for those 2 and a half hours, i felt so thankful to be watching someone else's fictional life portrayed......i was also able to do a little therapy today....retail therapy that is!!----just wanted to talk about that for a minute
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------

Inspired by.....ATL

does time really matter

when

distance is a factor

especially since you evoke so much laughter

it is soon

but who can really predict

when a flower will fully bloom

let it flow

let the inhibitions go

know what 'um talkin' bout?

i do,without a shadow

of a doubt

i am confident that you are too

that is why its up to me and you

to make it do what it should do

i..

i.
i feel..
i feel like...
i feel like writing....
i feel like writing & musing.....
i feel like writing & musing & rambling......
i feel like writing & musing & rambling & rejoicing.......

lately, i have felt like i have had something to say, but not quite the words to say it....
i was hoping that i was not beginning to lose my 'umph' or ability to express myself ....... but i think i have it back.

i.
i am..
i am happy...
i am happy and thankful....
i am happy & thankful to.....
GOD......
i am happy and thankful to GOD for.......
i am happy & thankful to GOD for life........

i see no need to worry about the outcome of life. if you think about it, worrying does not improve a situation, it does not add to the quality of life...well, it does add...it adds unnecessary stress (not eustress) & headaches. don't' get me wrong, i have not gotten to the point, where i am a completely worry-free person, but i work really hard at it. when i begin to doubt or become fearful, i have to stop and check myself and of course pray.....

i.
i pray..
i pray for peace...
i pray for peace & acceptance....
i pray for peace & acceptance & trust.....
i pray for peace& acceptance& trust& discernment.....
i pray for peace& acceptance & trust & discernment &wisdom.......

it's one thing to have discernment and wisdom, but it is another thing to utilize & apply the discernment and wisdom appropriately in all situations. life is full of experiences that we are supposed to learn and grow from. i try to do the best that i can. sometimes, i know that i am not applying the discernment and wisdom that i have acquired. knowing is half the battle though, right? denial is wack. i hope that i am never in denial. i like to be self aware. sometimes its hard to accept personal flaws. i am open to knowing mine, so that i can fix them... or at least work on minimizing them...everybody has them. it is wack to not be aware of them though. or at least being open to learning of them.

i.
i hope..
i hope to...
i hope to grow....
i hope to grow & gain.....
i hope to grow & gain wisdom......
i hope to grow & gain wisdom & knowledge......

i.
i feel..
i feel & i pray...
i feel & i pray & i hope....

i feel and i pray and i hope for wisdom, discernment, peace,love and happiness!

i.
i am..
i am & i will....
i!

searching....random....

i feel moved to blog this morning....i should be doing some work, but i need to talk or write or express myself in some way.... i don't know exactly what it is that i need to say, so i'll just write 'til it comes out. journaling, writing, blogging is a good way to get some stuff out. i'm happy, but i'm sad at the same time.....no, i'm not bi-polar or borderline...i'm actually at a good place in my life,I'll even create a gratitude list:
*GOD's grace, love, mercy and presence
*a phenomenally loving &caring family
*family's good health
*my sound emotional, physical&mental health
*my job
*my car
*my home
*my finances
*my fantastic beau
*my silly best friends
*love, the ability to give it and receive it
*peace
*hope
*food
*the sun........
My list can go on&on, but this is just the gist of why there is really no need for me to be sad... but i'm not sad in a bad, depressed way, i'm sad in good way...makes no sense huh? well, i understand it.... its kinda like eustress and distress...eustress is a good, healthy form of stress,whereas distress is a painful form of stress..anyway, lets' just say i am experiencing the "eustress" of sadness...i am grateful that i am having this kind of sadness rather than the "distress" of sadness.... feel me now?
oh my...guess i never said the source of my "eustress sadness".........
..."it's so hard for me to say this,i'm struggling to find the right words...what i felt was past tense, what i feel you just havent heard....." -jill scott...i love to quote her, she says exactly what i'm feeling.... dont you just love when a song identifies and expresses your emotions for you? it makes it a lot easier for you/me/whosuneva.
seems like i'm avoiding the topic at hand huh? i guess i am, because as i'm writing, i'm starting to feel free and at peace and content...GOD is awesome, i pray for acceptance & peace and that is what i'm getting....the power of writing as a means of venting is so great...i love it.......

i'm not sure if anybody can gain anything from this post, but i did...i got some relief and i had a good time being vague and free and not having a purpose....or did i?

birds&rain--bows

Sigh....it is dreary, raining and windy outside right now. the rain always affects my mood, especially when the climate has been consistently sunny, warm and still, as it has been for the past few weeks. the temperature has been in the 70's and 80's and today it is in the high 50's/low 60's. i don't hate the rainy weather, because it helps me to appreciate the sunny weather. GOD knows exactly what to do! GOD gives us mostly sunny, beautiful days and throws in an occasional wet and cold day, just to keep us in check. because,we can be unappreciative and take for granted all the aesthetics in a typical spring or summer day. just think....after the rain has passed,the ground has dried, the birds begin to chirp again, we instantly become relieved and happy, for the sun is shining again and the temperature is just right!
perhaps i'm negating the beauty in the rain, there is beauty in it, it washes away the pollen, gives nourishment and life to the trees and flowers and makes rAinBows! i presume i just don't typically look at it that way.

my office has a big window, overlooking some trees and a courtyard type area. so every morning, since the spring season has begun, this same bird (i observed the bird, so i know its the same one) flys into my window, not once, not twice, perhaps about 5 to 10 times, trying to figure out how he/she/it can get into my office. and every time, i either get an attitude or just shake my head at the poor, clueless bird. but, today, i miss the bird, he/she/it has not shown up, perhaps, because of the rain....or has the bird given up? i think i was beginning to admire the bird's persistence and curiosity......that bird and the rain teaches very valuable lessons..... if it weren't for the rain, i wouldn't appreciate the sun, meaning, the difficult times and situations make the good times, even better. and that bird tells me to be diligent in that which i desire, oh and to stay out of the rain when i can, but don't disregard it and to appreciate each day, each person and situation!

**Disclaimer: this is not a "what is the meaning of life" entry....just my thoughts**

Life is funny! It absolutely amazes me how we experience things and either grow or become stagnant as a result of our experiences. I am really enjoying observing the developmental process of life.

I've been reading some poems that were written in 2000 & 2001. As I read the poetry, I began to sympathize with the sad, confused and searching young scribe. This authoress poured deep emotions, thoughts and beliefs onto the worn pages of a small, fabric journal, hoping to find some solace for the uncertainties of life. See, the young wordsmith had recently completed matriculation from undergraduate school, and was in search.....in search of purpose, employment, love, companionship and understanding. The choice of words used in the verses were thoughtful and full of self scrutiny. The memoirs were revealing and nostalgic. The more I read, the more I could relate to the poetic words. My feelings of sympathy vastly changed to those of empathy. As I too, had those exact sentiments and endured identical sagas, or what seemed to be sagas to a 21/22 year old.

I was able to reflect on life as it appeared to be at that time and make comparisons to present day. Empathy turned to gratitude.....gratitude for the tumultuous, as well as the victorious events that I have lived through. The writer is now able to appreciate those occurrences, because according to the entries, back then, she had vague hope for her future, it was minuscule, but it was hope. What I gather from the compositions was that gainful employment, true romanticism, love and wisdom was far off.

The growing, 2o-something- year- old, pseudo-poet now holds two degrees, is gainfully employed, cultivating a new romantic relationship, continues to seek wisdom and uses discernment cautiously. This person has not fully self actualized, but is diligently working up Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. As she continues to seek spiritual, personal and professional growth.
I check in daily with this lyricist, just to see if she's growing or becoming stagnant, just to see if she's using life's foibles and strengths to help or to harm.

Oh, I guess I have no choice to be in constant contact with this person as she is......
mE-mI!

Knowing, Doing, Being......

It was revealed to me some years back that my purpose in life is to "Shine light into dark places!". This task covers a wide spectrum of things, and to be quite honest, it can be a challenging objective. Today, I'll shine some light by expounding on one of my favorite quotes:

A person cannot seek for complete happiness from another human being; we must first seek happiness from above and from within! Just for today, I am happy because I make myself happy!

So many times,we want other people to talk, walk, act and be a certain way and we aren't anything close to what we are asking of them. Or maybe we are, and just can't accept that everyone is not like us. Also, we often times seek out relationships and friendships with people to make us happy. When the truth of the matter is, there is only one person walking this earth that can be responsible for my happiness, and that is me! Sure, another person can add to my happiness, but that person can't be my entire source of happiness. That is too much responsibility to put on one person and that is the quickest set up for failure and disappointment. I believe that it is important to discover personal, internal motivators for joy and peace. This is no simple task, it takes consistency and a true desire for happiness. It also takes some diligence in developing and nurturing a spiritual relationship.

OK, so after you have begun pursuing your happiness and gaining all the wonderful insight...there is another big task at hand........making sure that you don't allow anybody or thing rob you of this new found serenity. Because believe me, as soon as you start achieving new levels of success ( mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc.) the nay sayers will come along, to tear you down........."That which doesn't kill you makes you strong as iron!"

So I encourage, self exploration and self help to develop happiness and to build resiliency. Because let's be truthful, everyday isn't going to be an awesome day, but with a little work, more days than not can be great ones!

I read this book, titled the In Pursuing Happiness(not after the movie), and it helped me tremendously! Bibliotherapy is a great tool!

So, learn you, do you, be you!

fLoWeR pOwEr!

OMG! Today is the 27th day of February, which means that we only have one more day to pay homage to Black/Negro/African-American History..or is it? Speaking of this short month dedicated to persons of the African heritage, It seems as though this month isn't as big of a deal as it used to be. Perhaps, it is for the fact that I am no longer a school aged child, where learning about our culture was force fed to us, via plays, homework assignments and a gamut of videos and films shown to us in our classrooms. I will give BET and MTV2 kudos, they have made mention of this commemorative month through commercials,and an occasional Black history/Rap History fact or two.

I would like to take time out to acknowledge and introduce a moment in Black History that is not known to many. An all Black women's Social Club, Club Kamelya, was founded in 1953, in Atlanta, GA. The name Kamelya, was a spin on the flower Rhododendron "Camillia's Blush",commonly known as an Azalea. The founders chose this flower as their club's symbol, as a representation of the beauty of the women and the flower.

There were twelve (12) founders of Club Kamelya, two (2) of which are my relatives, one, my paternal grandmother, Doris T. and a great aunt, Emma T.This all Black Women's club was founded on the premises of advocating traveling abroad for African American women and providing civic duties for underprivileged black youth. Club Kamelya's founders and members not only traveled and aided the less fortunate, they hosted numerous socials and affairs, some of which they called "barn dances", throughout the year. These soirees were thrown all over the "colored sections" of the city for all to attend. The monies raised from the parties, were to go towards helping the underprivileged youth with food, clothing and other necessities.

In February 1963, the women were aware that their popularity had grown, therefore, they took a chance and made a request to have their Annual Anniversary affair in a downtown Atlanta hotel. What's the big deal you may ask? There had not been any other Black women's clubs to host an event in downtown Atlanta. A Black male social club preceded them in the act. However, Club Kamelya became the first Black women's social club to have a social event in downtown Atlanta, at the Americana Hotel. The event was a huge success, paving the way for other African Americans to host events in Downtown Atlanta.

Club Kamelya represented aesthetics in more than just the physical sense, the women epitomized charity, love, grace,camaraderie and unity. The 12 illustrious women remained a family throughout the years. Unfortunately, due to natural causes related to aging, the trendsetting group of women dissipated their Club in 2005.

Perhaps..I will be able to carry the legacy on.......Thanks for the pOwEr, you beautiful fLoWeRs..Club Kamelya!
(btw...I now understand why Ray used to always have azalea bushes in the front yard!)