oh! i almost forgot!

[[blah]]
my exact feeling this morning when i arose from my slumber.
even though i am on a much needed vacation...i felt [[blah]]this morning.
i laid in bed, trying to shake the discontenting feeling. thinking of things that i need to do, as opposed to doing things that i want to do, so i stayed in bed a little while longer.

when i realized that i couldn't release the feeling on my own...i did one thing that i am good at doing...praying!
after the imperative conversation with the AWESOME ONE, i got up and began to approach the first day of my mini-vacate with pleasure and gratitude!
it started off a tad bit slow,but then i read some inspirational stuff and instantly became motivated and ready!

as i proceeded with my self assigned tasks for the day...my mind began to wonder....

"is a certain amount of chaos in life necessary and beneficial?, how is it that we are privy and exposed to so much knowledge and inspiration and encouragement and empowerment, but quickly forget to apply it in the midst of tumultuous or even minute life challenges and stressors?"

i think i came up with an answer....
because we are human... 'beautifully human!' "we are fearfully and wonderfully made!"

i do believe that a smidgen of chaos from time to time is ok. Hey, it's the reality of the matter, so we may as well accept it. figure out how to handle it and move on.

chaotic events will occur.
disappointments will happen.
sadness will come.

so if we know this.....why do we often times get bent out of shape?
i understand that emotions are so powerful, they can take control of the strongest, most emotionally healthy and intelligent person ever....so why cant we always remember to control our emotions and not allow our emotions to control us?

oh...i almost forgot.....
we are human, beautifully human at that!

i'm not using the whole "i'm human" thing as a cop out, i do know that can be used by some in efforts to excuse purposely unacceptable behavior, which is not a good look. i do believe in taking responsibility and owning up to personal wrongdoings and mistakes...but i'm saying, we have to remember to not take ourselves too seriously all the time and accept our humanness.

accept the fact that we will not be able to please every single person in which we interact and have a relationship with.
accept that we will make mistakes.
accept that we will fail at something.
accept that we will get angry about something.

in order to live a relatively serene and sane life...
we must have acceptance and the ability to allow ourselves to a few mishaps.
we have to remember that our feelings are valid.
be alright with being you...if that is hard to do, figure out a way to identify the source of your discontentment and begin to work on it....
(if you havent notcied by now, i love internal work, as difficult as it tends to be..it's one of my passions)
aaaanyhoo... back to the topic

there is only one you. one me. embrace that person...accepting all the flaws and imperfections and greatness and uniqueness and roll with it!

and if they/he/she/it don't like it....straighten your back, raise those shoulders, stand up straight, smile and confidently say "humph! i'm me. i'm fearfully and wonderfully made. oh, and i almost forgot...
i'm beautifully human"!

**disclaimer**in certain situations, do all the body gestures and just say the other stuff in your head...we still wanna appear to be sane here!
{{smooches, hugz & luv}}

Eureka! Ah-Ha moments! or maybe just random ramblings of a ranting chiq--en?...

I can be a funny character!
Sometimes I just sit back and laugh at myself!

Periodically, I begin to feel stagnant, like I'm not doing enough with my spare time. Like I should be doing much more. I always feel so accomplished while I'm in school, sooooo, I've been thinking about going back to get my doctoral degree. For what? Who knows, perhaps so that everyone can call me "Dr.mimi"? So I can feel like I'm accomplishing something, but then, I graduate, and I feel content, for a while, then uh oh..here comes mr. stagnation knocking at my door.... can I just go to school forever?
A few years back, when I was doing some life assessing, I had the epiphany that one of my life long goals will be to acquire as much knowledge as possible. I know, I know,I don't have to go to school to do that. But it is something about that formal education that I just crave. Maybe because my sunnie t. and daddie enrolled me in kindergarten at the age of 4 (love them for it too)! anyhoo, just wanted to put that school notion out there...

Now, back to this stagnation stuff... lately I've been feeling like I need to incorporate more hobbies into my daily routine. Ok, so, I get up, go to work every morning, go home, then go to the fitness center, and back home it is. I read and write and cook and yap while I'm at home, so it's not like I'm just watching t.v. (which i barely do anymore). I just don't have a "thing"..oh, other than shopping & the movies, but that is reserved for the weekends only.
So, as I get on the internet, searching for a hobby, my first google search is for...guess what?? A class! hahaha..career student! But not another psychology class, a Spanish class, a cooking class, a creative writing class..but a class none the less. which is fine with me, I'm alright with loving to learn.
Learning is a constant. We are learning on a daily basis anyway... right?

So, with all my spare time, surfing the net and searching for meaningful things to occupy my spare time, I discover that I want to learn to ride horses! And after more searching and listening to the radio at work. I learn of this website http://www.soulvegwellness.com/. NOW, I MUST WARN YOU! If you are not ready to hear some shocking news about all the dairy and meat that we choose to consume, DO NOT GO TO THAT WEBSITE!
But I, in all my bravery, went to the website, and I have not felt the same about eating chicken and dairy since. Reading was the same thing that led me to not eating beef and pork... sooo.... I may be well on my way to giving up dairy and chicken. Notice, I didn't say a thing about a turkey, because I ab-so-lut-ley loooove turkey burgers..... I haven't given up chicken and dairy...yet. But I can see that I'm well, sorta, on my way.

I baked some chicken wings for dinner the other night and something came over me as I tore into the flesh of some innocent little chicken. I got grossed out! and I couldn't believe it! I love chicken, I don't normally eat chicken with bones, so maybe that had something to do with it. And as far as dairy goes..I love cheese and milk and sour cream and ice cream. So that may be a challenge for me to give up, but I said the same thing about beef, and it has been approximately5 years since I sank my teeth into some leather!

I did buy some soy milk instead of cow's milk. My daddie said "cow's milk is for baby cow's", a spoken word artist back in about 2001 said; "cow milk will kill your babiiiiieees",others have told me that it causes skin issues. So we'll see.

And then, it was time for me to get my hair relaxed, so another ah ha moment, epiphany or notion came to mind. Go natural! Leave the chemicals alone! Now, I tried that before, but after six months, I got weak and fell back into the perm trap. So we'll just have to see about that one too.

Oh yeah, I even bought some natural toothpaste, it has fluoride in it, but not all of those artificial flavorings, like saccharin and other unnatural stuff. it has some orange and mango extracts.

See! You see why I need a new hobby, I have too much time to read and think. But that isn't bad... is it?

__________________________________________________________

just rambling and ranting
full of gratitude
in a peaceful mood
ranting and raving
about the craving
to do right
in GOD's sight
want to eat right
change things
in my life
but not to cause any plight
just to further beautify
the life that i have
so i can fly, soar
and accomplish much more

________________________________________________________________________________________________